From a Stranger; Proofread by Alyss UPDATED

Subject: From a Stranger; Proofread by Alyss UPDATED Sun Sep 25, 2011 11:08 pm

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+ STORY
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A guy meets a girl. From 2 strangers, they become lovers.

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+ SCRIPT - CHAPTER 1
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- Characters: Ho (guy), Phan (girl)
-> Dialogs are in ""
-> SFX are in **
-> Manga strip's description are in []
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THIS IS ALL FLASHBACK.

[Pair of legs walking down a road]
*Step step*

Ho's narration: "Phan was walking in the middle of the road when I first met her."

Flashback (slightly fuzzy effect):
[A girl walking, with a motorcycle speeding closer and closer]
*Vroom vroom*

[A hand slamming on the brakes]
*Quick turn* <--like in the movies, when the person can't stop in time, they turn.....right?

[Motorcycle dodging the girl who was walking across the street]
*Dodge*

[The driver's head turns to look at the girl; his eyes widen]

[The tires squeal as he brakes]

[The boy and girl both glance at each other]

Ho's narration: "For so long, I wished that never had happened."

[Tears fall from his face]

Ho's narration: "Because that was the most humiliating moment of my life."

[He cries]
Ho: "Wha...?"

[She looks at him with an emotionless face. He lowers his head in shame.]
Ho: "Damn..."

Ho's narration: "But luckily, she was the only one who saw it."

~~Ho: "Hu hu hu..."~~ Unnecessary laughter.

Phan: "Hey. If you want a date with me then stop crying."

[His eyes open upon hearing her voice. Her face is still expressionless.]

[Girl sits on the motorcycle, behind the guy, with her arms wrapped around his waist.]
*VROOM*

[The guy turns to look at her]
Phan: "I'm Phan. You?"

[Their hair whips around in the wind.]
Ho: "It's a weird name, it means 'glue stick.'"
Phan: "What?"
Ho: "That's my name."

[The two of them smile.]
PHAN: "You mean 'Ho?' That's pretty gross."
Ho: "Really?"

Ho's narration: "That's how we, once strangers, became lovers."

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- END OF CHAP.1

*Ho = "glue stick" in Vietnamese.

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EDITOR'S NOTE:
Red = urgent, general questions.
Orange = The color of the text, since I changed so much of it.
Dark Red = Questions I had on certain parts of the dialogue.

Problems fixed. ~~Hopefully~~.

Thank you so much Alyss! ^_^
You've fixed so much of my bad english~ And I'm sorry if the story was kinda confusing for youu T_T It doesn't really have many acctions or a real big plot... just a slice of life about 2 complete strangers, with strange personalities met, and randomly became lovers!

>> I'm gonna answer your questions as good as possible >_<:

- All this dialogue, is this him telling a story? Or is this all in his head? Who is he telling it to?
Yes, Ho is telling the story of his meeting with Phan. He's telling it to the readers of course.

-Why is Ho so surprised? And isn't he already crying? Is this present day or part of the flashback?
He's just getting emotional so he tears start to fall down-> he's surprised cause he didn't even saw it coming (he didn't know that he was crying)~ I'm gonna explain it in the next chapters....
Everything is in the past, or flashback if you want to call it that way. There's no present part, at least not in this chapter. This is a memory of Ho.

- Ermm...Why is he laughing?
He's not laughing XDDD "Hu hu hu" is a crying sound!!

Well I guess that's it.... @_@ If you have any other question, just ask! >W<

P/S: Thank you again Alyss!! >w< And I'm so sorry for reading this so late, I was fed up by all the school works @_@ and I just know that you've finished proofreading a minute ago, after seeing kittie's pm T_T

Thanks for clarifying, I've fixed it now.