| | ♥Aliya's Ring Written By Me♥ |  |
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| Your Thoughts(Be Honest) | | a)Terrible | | 0% | [ 0 ] | | b)Good | | 100% | [ 2 ] | | c)Excellent | | 0% | [ 0 ] |
| | Total Votes : 2 | | | |
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Nomiko
Moderator
Posts : 282
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Join date : 2011-07-01
Age : 27
Location : IAmNotTellingVille☻♥
| | Subject: ♥Aliya's Ring Written By Me♥ Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:12 am | |
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ValkyriaGirl
Moderator
Posts : 187
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Join date : 2011-07-03
Age : 29
Location : Mauritius
| | Subject: Re: ♥Aliya's Ring Written By Me♥ Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:11 pm | |
| As you said, there are a few mistakes and typos. Grammar mistakes would be the way you switch from past to present tense~
Also, the story lacks a bit of uhm... Flow I'd say. Using more connective words would be nicer and make the sentences sort of follow up with each other.
I'm sorry if I was too harsh >.< | |
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Nomiko
Moderator
Posts : 282
Points : 14385
Join date : 2011-07-01
Age : 27
Location : IAmNotTellingVille☻♥
| | Subject: Re: ♥Aliya's Ring Written By Me♥ Mon Jul 11, 2011 10:45 pm | |
| - ValkyriaGirl wrote:
- As you said, there are a few mistakes and typos. Grammar mistakes would be the way you switch from past to present tense~
Also, the story lacks a bit of uhm... Flow I'd say. Using more connective words would be nicer and make the sentences sort of follow up with each other.
I'm sorry if I was too harsh >.< To be honest..I was in a rush x.x My boyfriend needed "help" so I quickly wrote that up in a half hour ;-; And sent him what I had before I was grounded. Please..dont ask D: But that's my alibi.I usually write out a draft before I do the final copy and I check for errors and crap.I'm currently writing an awesome story right now called "Universal Crisis"(Or if I change the title >.>)  I plan on getting it published when I'm finished  My friends says it's great but needs a bigger vocabulary use. Thanks for your honesty!  | |
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ValkyriaGirl
Moderator
Posts : 187
Points : 14267
Join date : 2011-07-03
Age : 29
Location : Mauritius
| | Subject: Re: ♥Aliya's Ring Written By Me♥ Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:55 am | |
| - Nomiko wrote:
- ValkyriaGirl wrote:
- As you said, there are a few mistakes and typos. Grammar mistakes would be the way you switch from past to present tense~
Also, the story lacks a bit of uhm... Flow I'd say. Using more connective words would be nicer and make the sentences sort of follow up with each other.
I'm sorry if I was too harsh >.< To be honest..I was in a rush x.x My boyfriend needed "help" so I quickly wrote that up in a half hour ;-; And sent him what I had before I was grounded. Please..dont ask D: But that's my alibi.I usually write out a draft before I do the final copy and I check for errors and crap.I'm currently writing an awesome story right now called "Universal Crisis"(Or if I change the title >.>) I plan on getting it published when I'm finished My friends says it's great but needs a bigger vocabulary use. Thanks for your honesty! I wish you'll post your story then, because I'd like to read it ^^ Better vocabulary can easily be achieved through extensive reading Good luck for your writing~ | |
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Nomiko
Moderator
Posts : 282
Points : 14385
Join date : 2011-07-01
Age : 27
Location : IAmNotTellingVille☻♥
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midori2
Moderator
Posts : 164
Points : 14228
Join date : 2011-07-09
Age : 28
Location : In your kitchen.
| | Subject: Re: ♥Aliya's Ring Written By Me♥ Mon Jul 25, 2011 4:31 am | |
| That was worth reading. Awesum ;] <3 | |
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Nomiko
Moderator
Posts : 282
Points : 14385
Join date : 2011-07-01
Age : 27
Location : IAmNotTellingVille☻♥
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